bring me to life...

2003-11-19T19:31:00.000-08:00

i've moved to http://lavabrownie.blogspot.com

2003-10-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

haha i noe it's been a while?
hmm this blog hasn't been officially abandoned...
but yea it's pretty much abandoned.
dunno...sumhow feel lyk i've got better things to do wif my life
than blogging abt it for other pple to read.
i noe dat most likely no one's ever gna read this
cos everyone prob thinks me n my blog are dead.
but hey im bored so im juz gna blog aniway. -shurgs.
time for a big recap.

wednesday:15/10
last day of exams!
was so damn happy.
really cldn't care dat the chi paper was totally screwed.
mrs cheong totally ruined e first 20min of my freedom
but nvm.
decided to go join tiffy, mary, and ame instead of going hme.
ate heeren's crepes n cream's ice-cream. ate baked rice at nydc.
yummy. but made me feel so fat :(
we took totally disgusting neoprints.
it really cldn't get much worse.
no one's ever gna get to see cos dey're too sick.
wanted to burn dem.
oh wells me tiff mary went to watch italian job
while ame went hme to study for her MEP exam [muahaha...]
great show. hehs.
den went hme. slacked.

thursday:16/10
didn't feel lyk watching infernalaffairs2.
the fact dat it's in chi was alr a big turnoff.
besides...i dunno who edison chen is. dun realli care either hehs.
so decided to stay at hme instead. slacked.

friday:17/10
wenx came over real early.
we watched friends at my place for a few hrs.
watched e syf vcd too.
hehes we were realli making fun of dunman high.
we were real pigs. watching tv n eating haha.
hmms den we took mrt ALL e way 2 pasir ris.
walked at white sands for awhile.
den took e bus to pasir ris park for ame n fren's bbq.
haha me n wenx rented bikes and cycled.
yipee! was so happy i didn't 4get how to.
and it was damn fun too (:
yea after dat we played bridge abit
left wif ame, tiff n louie later.
went newton circus to eat.
but i had hardly any money! 4got to restock wallet.
and i REFUSE to enter louie's exclusive debt list.
anw after eating my bro picked me up frm newton.

okay deres still loads for me to say.
but im damn sick of blogging alr.
so all i wanna say is dat...
1.on saturday i met e love of my life!!!
my puppy! bought him. he's a tri-coloured shetland.
i named him treble! lovelovelove him!
2. i'm in love with stacey's mom!!! hees.

***
haven't you heard that i'm gonna be okay?

2003-09-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

haven't been online in more than a week.
i'm so proud of myself. -beams (:
haven't checked my email since godknowswhen.
too lazy to open my mailbox.
maybe i should do it after this.
before my mailbox overflows or sumting.
managed to cover 1 chap of both maths this morning.
feeling very satisfied haha. yups.
watched forbidden city last nite. nicenice :)
kit chan's voice is so powerful
and hossan leong was so funny.
realli enjoyed myself
altho i fell asleep for abt 5min cos i was tired.
me and angie decided to pierce 2 more earholes after exams!
so i shall haf 3 on my right and 2 on my left.
so excited. piercing earholes is exciting.
aniwaez i'd better get back to studying.
doing my geog notes. can't wait for the exams to be over.

***

it's kinda funny how life can change.
can flip 180 in a matter of days.

2003-09-12T00:38:00.000-07:00

huilin:
okay...there's a few things i wanna say...
1. urm u noe the person who u said is getting uglier and uglier? he realli IS getting uglier and uglier!!! wat did he do to his face??? or maybe it's a natural thing...u noe...time changes everything...yes? okay im being mean. hee :p
2. u noe the person who u said has a pleasant face?? the cause of ur i----------? and i agreed wif u? wellll...i went to take a look...and urm i dun agree wif u animore. maybe it's the change of specs. i mean...he looked so much more pleasant in the photo last time. now...i tink his face looks so typically___(fill in sch here). in fact...he reminds me of that pink dolphin guy frm the 3rd lang centre in s1? but a not too bad ____ person. above average actually. but only in ___. which changes things. oh wells nvm beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. right? haha. yupp.
3. and u noe the person u said looks like miss hu?? she realli DOES look like miss hu. realli lehs. amazing resemblance. when i saw i was like omg. hahhaa. and u said she looks like an abit better version of miss hu? urm i tink she looks like a worse version of miss hu.
4. okay that's it. tink dats enuff mean comments for 2dae right? ;)

considering getting rid of my msn.
i mean...it's not like i use it aniway.
i go online on msn like...once a mth?
most of the time...
i dun even bother signing in when i come online.
just blog and surf the net and stuff.
like now.
and it takes quite long for the icon to load too.
slows my com's startup down.
aniway i gotta get back to my ss flowcharts now.
missing my darling jaqnadolds partner loads.

2003-09-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

jacq is in a rotten mood rite now.
why? cos she feels stupid.
not embarassed stupid.
stupid stupid.
and most pple feeling stupid wld be in a rotten mood.
can't get aniting right.
getting damn frustrated and upset :(
and now my mum is still nagging.
saying if i can't work how come i can play.
that's just so wrong.
i play to cheer myself up cos im sad.
im sad bcos of my work and my stupidity.
so how can i work when im sad.
i'd just make myself sadder.
and then the whole cycle will repeat itself.
im trying realli hard to work hard, i really am.
why can't she see that?
she just doesn't understand.

***

is it enough to love?
is it enough to breathe?
somebody rip my heart out and leave me here to bleed...

2003-09-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

here to blog again!!!
switched the com on to do my ss notes.
knew this wld happen.
sheesh. okay...so i haf a focussing problem.
sue me. haha.
okay recap...
friday.
the RSAF thing was damn boring.
but...the company(3L) was great hehes.
it was damn hot and stuffy there.
so we went to the air-con canteen.
sat arnd this table dat kept flipping over...
and played guess-the-pattern games
wif wenx, xiaowei, ame, ching, tiffy, mary.
when we went outside to watch the planes,
we sat in a circle and played this coin game.
sum other 3L pple joined in too.
haha so funny. had alot of fun.
me and nana recorded our muaNANA thing on my phone!
will listen to it whenever im sad to cheer myself up. lols.
loveherloads.
went to my grandma's hse for dinner after dat.
saturday.
had tuition in the morning...
den went out wif angie and jo.
watched pirates of the caribbean!!!
ahhhhhh i LOVE it!!!!
love orlando bloom.
but now i love johnny debt even more than orlando.
he was soooo good.
and keira knightly is SO gorgeous.
i wanna watch it again. but i can't. i have to STUDY.
yupp dats wat im spending yest and 2dae doing.
damn sad rite? haha.
but oh wells....if i keep this up....i'll get my dog!
so i dun mind (:
oh wells it's been a great term.
angie, jo, wenx, tiffy, michie, nana, mary, xiaowei, yijing, amelia, ching, louie and the rest of 3L..
thanks for making it great.
but i guess the "holiday"(the past 3 terms) period is over.
and it's time to realli get sum work done.
no more playing around and stuff.
so this is probably one of my last blog entries
before the exams are over.
or maybe not?
haha i dunno...see how first.
it's not as if i blog or come online often aniwaez.
tink i haf to go back to my ss notes now.
bleagh...ss here i come.

***

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

2003-09-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

been a few weeks since i've blogged?
haha hardly come online aniwaez.
no time and couldn't realli be bothered.
guess i dun realli haf much to say.
exams are coming up.
im determined to study hard.
i guess? i hope? sighs haha.
oh yar dat shitface henry ng (aka the great almighty huanglaoshi)
wants to kick me out of dance.
and even if i stay in dance...he won't chose me for any items.
why? bcos i dun wanna join dance horizon:
his oh-so-wonderful dance course.
im so sick of hearing him say the same thing over and over again.
"you are so lucky to be chosen for the course"
"ban4 tu2 er2 fei4"
"if you don't turn up this sunday...i'll CONDEMN you."
yada yada yada.
wadeva. hatehimhatehimhatehim.
hope he gets struck by lightning.
or falls down the stairs.
or gets hit by a car.
or gets burned alive in his kitchen.
or gets crushed by an escaped elephant frm the zoo.
no? -jacq's hopeful smile fades.
hais 2mr's my piano exam.
not realli all dat nervous.
in fact....im not nervous at all. not one bit.
already accepted my fate haha.
2mr...im playing for me. dats all.
not for the examiner. not for the grades.
for me.

***

The story never changes
Just the names and faces

2003-08-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

yesterday was help the singapore cancer society day!!!
altho we didn't help very much haha. jacq is feeling very guilty. -nods.
aniwaez i had loads of fun :))
to(in no order of merit)...tiffy, louie, yijing, ching(not last this time! xP), xiaowei, ANGELA(sorrie i missed u out), ame, michie, mary and nana...
thanks so much for a great day out. (oops...i meant flag day)
-beams. love you guys.
jacq is in pain.
she smashed her cheekbone into a marble pillar a few hrs ago.
why? bcos she wasn't watching where she was going. as usual.
-glares. u'd better not be laughing at her rite now.
oh yea b4 i 4get....
i luff my gay snail partner. -hugs.
deres no other snail partner in the world dats as wonderful and snaily as her (: lols.

***

maybe i am a bitch.
i never pretended i wasn't one.
but just so u noe...
im onli bitchy to pple who deserve it.
so hey dun blame me. it was ur fault after all.
and btw...if u want me to delete sumting..
at least tell me wat u want deleted?
otherwise how am i supposed to noe wat to erase.
use ur common sense dammit.
i onli delete entries(blog/gbk) for realli gd reasons.
or on special requests frm my friends.
if not i leave them as dey are. insults included.
cos erasing entries goes against my "don't erase" policy.
-rolls eyes. isn't that so obvious?
so if u want sumting deleted...u'll hafta tell me which one...
and i'll give it some consideration. yupp.
den again....
u tink im a bitch
which means i was bitchy to u
which means u did sumting to deserve it
which means i prob dun like u
which means i prob won't grant ur request.
but...u can juz tell me aniways
i promise to consider. -smiles sweetly.

***

i ain't trippin. i'm just missing you.

2003-08-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

suddenly feel like i hate my template. so im gonna source around for a new one i guess. yupyups. most prob not gonna blog until i find one. hahas sumhow can't blog wif an ugly template. nice templates inspire me to blog. flag day 2mr. den we're all going out. funfun:).

2003-08-08T03:34:00.000-07:00

ponned sch this morning. slept till 9.45. -grin. after dat went out wif tiffy, mary, ame, louie and yijing. we were supposed to watch how 2 deal but ended up at cine bowling alley instead. onli bowled 1 game. i seriously sucked. was quite demoralising since i usually bowl at least 50 at my worst in sicc. looks like i realli do need my bro or clement to help me haha. -nods. haven't bowled wif them in a long time tho. mmms after bowling we went to far east. stoned around. took screwed up neoprints. yups. den loui went to cut hair, tiffy+mary+ame went to take another neoprint, and i followed yijing back to cine bowling alley to meet her frens. walked around summore. went home.

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you

was juz thinking. esp after wat happened to my dad. it realli shows dat aniting can happen. i could be here one moment, and the next moment i could be gone from this world. and wat if tomorrow never comes? wat if i get bombed or knocked down by a car? would he know how much i love him? but sumtimes the most important things in life are the hardest to say.

2003-08-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

happy birthday ~~BRUCE~~ nana!!!

jo: yesyes...u steal my clips, mess up my hair, crush my feet, glue ur hand to my face, pinch me, bite me, bully me, empty my pencilcase and put all my stationary in different parts of the new ava room(i can't find my green pen!!!!), TRY to draw on my books(nothing can beat MY drawings!!), etc...etc. -points finger at jo. YOU are mean. YOU are nasty(hohoho cldn't u juz see dat coming? -evil grin). BUT i still love u aniways. loads and loads. -hugs. loveyouakk :). always. missyou.

jacq loves jo!!!!

2003-08-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

i love youuuuu mary!!!! sooooo soooooo much!!! seriously dunno where i'd be wifout you :) i wanna be ur lamb. so i can follow u wherever u go...lols. -hugs mary tight. lalala~

2003-08-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

argh im in such deep shit rite now. got so much to do and it's already 9.38??? still gotta do my 8 or 9 lit character studies, do my oral review for eng, and do abt 3 exercises worth of math. and when i'm done wif all dat...i gotta study for 2mr's chinese test. 7 chaps. and guess wat? i haven't even started studying yet. not one bit. took a nap juz now...so wif any luck....i hope to be able to sleep by abt 3am? sighs. the hotel in jakarta where my dad is supposed to stay has been bombed. he was gonna go for lunch in the coffee hse there but stopped by the office first. the coffee hse was where the bomb was set off. abt 13 pple died. and 70 over are injured. some of the pple who died are singaporeans. quite scary. if he didn't stop by the office b4 heading to the hotel...i might not haf a dad animore.

2003-08-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

guess i have nothing much to say. fluid fusion turned out great after all. alot of pple loved our dance. so....who cares wat that fucktard thinks? we all noe dat we deserve gold. nothing else shld matter. oh yea....cindy laoshi totally rawks! hahas. went out wif huilin yest. it was realli lots of fun. juz like old times. kinda miss those times. yupp. huilin!!!! ilu loads yea? and i dun ever wanna lose you! no matter...i'll always be here? frens forever =)

jacq + tiffy = deathsisters!

2003-07-31T06:18:00.000-07:00

dance got
double gold!!!!
for both chinese and modern/international. but not like it realli matters animore. cos huanglaoshi is such a shitface. fuck lar. i thought things wld change after we brought a high gold back. i thought he wld stop putting us down. but NO. modern dance is OBVIOUSLY still not good enuff for HIM. he probably hates us for getting a higher gold den deyi and now he's trying to make us look like idiots at fluid fusion. wadeva lorx. -rolls eyes. i dun even wanna start on the stuff he did and said the whole of 2dae. juz make me angrier for nothing. seriously considering not turning up for fluid fusion 2mr. the whole of modern dance shld juz boycott the bloody concert. it's gna be a big failure aniwaez. feeling damn shitified rite now...like modern dance's gold isn't worth aniting at all.

2003-07-26T04:16:00.000-07:00

i keep hafing this flashback of cindy laoshi(our dance coach) coming towards us when we were waiting outside the acs auditorium right after we performed. she had this expression of joy on her face and said "are these my st nicholas girls???". such a happy memory. too bad it's starting to drown in other less happy thoughts.

2003-07-26T01:22:00.000-07:00

Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny? And you can't move on even though you try?

but sumhow i don't think it's funny at all.

2003-07-26T01:11:00.000-07:00

yay! syf's finally over. never felt so relieved. -beams. im sososo happy. will never 4get yest. the 25th of july 2003. all the trainings were worth it. we've been through so much...but it was worth it. no one's ever gonna look down on modern dance again. yupyups. -nods. was damn tired yest. slept till 12.45 this ~~morning~~ afternoon? hahas im such a pig. but a satisfied pig. hehs.

this is me.
i hope you like me.
but if you don't...so be it.
this is me.

love this verse. makes so much sense doesn't it? haha. sceneful indulgence was gd. enjoyed myself loads. made my great day even better. aniwaez...cheers to all the modern dancers. we did it =).

2003-07-24T03:51:00.000-07:00

ahhhhhhh!!!! SYF's 2mr!!!! im so so so so NERVOUS. wat if i screw up??? so many things can go wrong. i dun wanna pull everyone down!!! AHHHHHH!!! and i haf to be in sch by 5am. how horrible is dat? -sad face. i hate waking up early.

to quit piano or not to quit. decision decisions decisions. tsk tsk =P

2003-07-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

yay! new template! i love love LOVE this template!!! took me the whole morning to find and alter okay. haven't updated in ages. didn't have the time or energy to come online. so...yar. i've been sick at hme yest and 2dae...didn't haf much to do...so...tada!!! new template!!! the old one sucked aniwaez. the picture wldn't turn up sumhow.

2003-07-14T04:41:00.000-07:00

okay maybe i shldn't haf written dat. it's just a small little scratch! and it's even on the top of my hand. not at the wrist or aniting. hmmm dun tink it's even counted as self-mutilation? no one wld notice it if i dun say aniting abt it. just a little faint scratch that hurt a TINY little bit. doesn't even hurt at all rite now even tho it's still dere. so....nothing to worry abt. yupp :)

had my olevel chi oral 2dae. totally screwed it up. seriously. dey asked us to tok abt this 100yr old tree dats been cut down? dat realli realli sucked. i said sumting like if dey cut the tree down...the little birds and squirrels in the tree won't haf ani place to live? -slaps forehead. how stupid is dat. im so so gonna fail. was almost crying when i came out. im so silly sumtimes. oh yea i finally tried the chocolate baNANA bread!!! yummy yummy. lols.

thinking of abandoning my blog and just leaving the gbk. i dunno. i always write more personal stuff here den erase them a few days later. so wads the point in writing it in the first place? might as well not write it at all rite. shld just keep all this kinda stuff to myself. was tempted to erase friday's entry too. just rite after i wrote and posted it. but decided not to in the end. resisted the temptation. heehee. hmmm i shall tink abt it. it's not lyk i haf so much time to update aniwaez.

jo:so when u said dat the injections were damn fucking painful...u were bluffing me??? lols. no fair haha. but yea i guess it helped alot. thankyou jo :). realli missed u in sch 2dae dearie. things just aren't the same. sad. seems like u're realli the glue dat holds the kuehs 2gether? and wifout u....:(. aiyar i dunno...shall not tink abt it. hope u get well soon and come 2mr! lalala~*

2003-07-12T03:31:00.000-07:00

And you can't fight the tears that ~~ain't coming~~
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

2003-07-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

haven't updated in soooo long. haven't been online in a while either. just didn't have the time. been realli realli busy. haven't realli been in the mood to blog either aniwaez. dead tired. had dance till 6.30 yest and tuition after dat until 9. almost died.

just got back frm the dentist's. extracted 4 teeth. the bottom half of my face is all numb now. had to stuff gauze into my mouth cos it's bleeding realli badly. haha when i was showering the blood just kept dripping and dripping nonstop. sorta like a nosebleed lols. my teeth, gums, and braces are all stained wif blood. it's realli quite gross. hehs. was incredibly nervous when i got dere. esp after jo's description of a realli thick needle going through the top of the mouth. honestly felt quite sick after hearing dat. but den my dentist gave me this kind of television goggles. where you can watch tv through these specs. i was watching friends the whole time. i must haf had abt 10 injections altogether. it hardly hurt at all. except the two injections through the top of my mouth which hurt a tiny bit. felt like such an idiot after dat for worrying so much. wasn't even half as painful as digging scissors into my hand.

the cut on my hand is still dere. it's small and quite faint, but i didn't expect it to last this long. and it actually hurts when i shower and stuff. got realli uncomfortable when pple asked how i got the scratch. esp when my mum asked. she just kept asking and asking. sighs guess i was just realli sad and frustrated. was realli depressed on wed. right in the middle of chi lesson, i just got to the peak of my frustration(veronica ang probably helped it along quite abit.). had to find sum kind of output for my misery. so i just took out my scissors...yea. stopped when it started to look abit blotchy. it realli did make me feel much much better tho. the pain sumhow relieved more den half of my frustration. okay dat sounds realli sick. shld stop toking abt it now. will try not to do it again i guess?

sighs my mouth still hasn't stopped bleeding. supposed to go to american club for dinner later. hope it stops bleeding by then? and i hope i can eat. there are like 4 realli deep red holes in my mouth rite now. so hollow hehs. will go sign gbks now. which i haf put off for realli long. oops maybe not. gotta leave soon. guess i'll sign a few after i change and sign the rest later.

2003-07-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

You're the super-slacker!!
Homework?
What's that? Studying? Not in your vocabulary.
You hardly study and almost never do your work
and yet, by some divine intervention, you're
still surviving. And you come to school so un-
often, your teachers have pratically forgotten
that you even exist. Go, you slacker, you!!

Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-01T18:10:00.000-07:00

your bitch.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

the ending for lightyears was so...open. no one ended up 2gether except isaac & melissa. so unfairytalelike. totally unexpected. (i thought dat isaac & kim wld get back 2gether again.) but also kinda impactful. it hit me realli hard actually. cos dats how life realli is. life isn't gonna turn out as a fairy tale wif a happy ending where everyone lives "happily ever after". and the phrase at the end: "and life goes on...." also left a deep impression on me. it's realli true. no matter how bad things turn out...life still goes on. another thing that hit me was isaac saying to kim that sum pple just haf to learn to let go. maybe it's time for me to let go? i think i've been clinging on to the hope for a realli long time now. even when sumtimes i dun even admit it myself. wads the use of clinging on ani longer? im tired. tiffy's question was: "do you think ani good will come out of it?". and after thinking it through...my answer is no. esp after yest. i guess..it's time to let go for real.

+God send me an angel from the heavens above. Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love. Cause all I do is cry. God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes+

2003-06-30T22:34:00.000-07:00

sighs e-learning realli sux. i'd rather just go to sch. epebble is one screwed up website. it's not even our fault that we're all not doing anything. cos we can't do aniting. each page takes lyk 15-20min to load....and dey just turn up wif errors aniwaez. haha spent the whole morning playing msnger6 games wif mary. we played checkers, minesweeper (haha i beat her at both!! :P) and decision wheel. now we're playing bejewelled. it's realli fun. but she's trashing me at it. sch is over in abt 1min. i've given up on epebble. it's not lyk we're not DISCIPLINED enuff or dat we dun WANNA work. so it's not our fault. the tchers can't do aniting to us. yay so happy gonna see jiahui 2nite. haven't had math tuition for so long. jiahui is realli kewl. makes tuition damn fun. and 2nite is the last episode of lightyears!!! im so sad. it's one of the best series ever. oh wells. 1 more day of slacking 2mr. how nice :)

2003-06-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

Isn't this the best part of breaking up?
Finding someone else you can't get enough of?
Someone who wants to be with you too?

2003-06-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

im so dead.
sch starts in urm...13 hrs?
and i haven't even STARTED on ANI hw yet.
and deres lit 2mr.
ms jeya is SO gonna kill me.
help help help.
i dun wanna go back 2 sch.
we didn't even haf a REAL holiday at all.
oh wells prob won't be coming online
when sch reopens. no time.

Can you imagine, no love, pride, deep fried chicken
Your best friend always stickin up for you
(even when I know you're wrong?)
Can you imagine no first dance
freeze dried romance
5 hour phone conversation
The best soya latte` that you ever had and...me?

2003-06-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

Theres something about you,
Tears me inside out whenever you're around
There's something about you
Speeding through my veins until we hit the ground
And there's something about this rush
Take it away
It made me feel so good
I get a feeling, you get a feeling, we got a feeling
Like we could die

2003-06-28T02:55:00.000-07:00

9/6: erased the depressing entry dat was here. makes me sound lyk a psychopath.

2003-06-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

i hate it when pple use me and take me for granted.
wat do pple take me for?? a LIBRARY??
a library that provides...let's see...
1. photocopying services.
2. hw and notes printing services.
3. CD renting services.
4. VCD & DVD renting services.
5. comp & playstation game renting services.
6. book renting services
wth.
im starting to get damn irritated.
can pple stop taking advantage of me? PLEASE??
it's not that i dun wanna lend stuff to pple, and do stuff for pple...
but i haf to draw the line SUMWHERE rite??
i mean...enough is enough.
i dun mind lending u pple stuff once in a while, or when u realli need it.
but stop treating me like a library. okay???
i dun fucking run a rental company.

oh yea btw. this is my first entry in a long time. bintan was fun.
can't be bothered to blog or come online these days. and too lazy to sign gbks for the moment.
will sign them err sum other time. yups. SUM OTHER TIME!!!

2003-06-18T02:47:00.000-07:00

just got back frm 9hours of dance. 8am-5pm haha
realli realli tired.
been too lazy to update these days.
leaving for bintan 2mr and will onli be back on sat.
seeya pple...:)

2003-06-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

I think you're so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
I think I'm scared
I think too much
I know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone, maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
but I can hardly move
If you're gone, baby you need to come home, oh come home
There's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

2003-06-11T19:33:00.000-07:00

oh yea i almost 4got. a day late but...

happy birthday huilin!!!

Feelin' green, when the jealousy swells
and it won't go away in dreams.

2003-06-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

haven't blogged in a while. nothing serious aniwaez.

recap
thur(5/6): last day of exams. skipped dance. out wif tiffy and ame. watcehd how to lose a guy in 10days.
fri(6/6): my bdae. a dream come true. out wif angie, jo, tiffy, wenx, michie, nana, mary. watched finding nemo.
sat(7/6): bbq at my house. wif angie, nana, mary, yijing, tiffy, wenx, michie.
sun(8/6): bowling at the club. wif wenx, my bro, clement, kai ming. haha i suck.
mon(9/6): back 2 sch for dance dance dance. blah blah blah.
tue(10/6): lessons in sch(math+geog). out wif kailin. watched what a girl wants. bowling at the club again.
wed(11/6): lessons in sch(math). piano class. watched wei and jon play their tennis tournament. wei's house.

and today im going for dance. again. this yr's bdae was realli great. my dreams realli came true. better den that. honestly dunno how things could be so coincidental. so perfect. i never seriously believed in fate. but now...maybe i do.

Feelin' blue, while I'm trying to
forget the feeling that I miss you

2003-06-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you

it's been onli less than a day since you went away.
but i already miss you more than i can say.

But sometimes telling the truth is easier said than done...

2003-06-04T04:56:00.000-07:00

All of this I, I cant believe I couldnt see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me

2003-06-04T03:46:00.000-07:00

my bdae wld be just perfect.
it'd be the best bdae ever.
if you wish me happy bdae.
nothing cld make me happier than dat.
the whole world can 4get it's my bdae.
but as long as u remember...
i dun realli care abt the rest.
dats why im so worried?
that u won't. that u'll 4get it altogether.
no. u won't forget. i believe in you.
you won't forget.
please don't forget?

2003-06-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

Which X2 Character Are You?

2003-06-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

thanx pple for the bdae wishes. yups i love u'll loads. -beams.

No one loves you, like I love you
No one needs you, the way I do
No one knows you, like I know you
No one hears you, the way I do

im falling for you. just like the rain :(

2003-05-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

jacq has been losing alot of hair lately. must be the stress.
bio+chem exam on mondae. haven't started studying. dun feel like it.
with or without studying...i'll still fail everything aniwaez.

my bdae is on friday!!!!!
but not like it makes a difference.

2003-05-29T03:41:00.000-07:00

heard sum gd stuff 2dae.
maybe things aren't so bad after all :)

2003-05-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

was crying lyk shit just now. cos everything's going so wrong. and it seems like deres nothing i can do to make it right. i hate myself. my bdae is gonna suck this year. i just noe it. it's gonna be the worst bdae i've ever had in my life. i can sense it. wat am i living for. rite now i realli don't noe.

is it enough to love?
is it enough to breathe?
sumbody rip my heart out
and leave me here to bleed.
is it enough to die?
sumbody save my life.
i'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

2003-05-28T02:07:00.000-07:00

please. don't make me want to give up.

2003-05-26T03:20:00.000-07:00

darling xiaowei is realli realli great at cheering pple up. i was frickin sad during chi lesson 2dae. and she was telling me sumting like..."can u imagine sumone fat and ugly saying she has a bf? like -------(not gonna put it here. im not DAT mean. if u wanna noe...ask me)????" i just sat dere laughing. couldn't stop. den she added "dun tell her kays. she might squash me." dat realli did it. i was howling wif laughter. laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. tink im psychotic. lols. i love xiaowei loads! :)

jacq n sai kueh(wenhan)'s 3rd lang adventures
during recess...
sai kueh: i don't wanna go for 3rd lang!! i haven't bought a bdae present 4 my fren!
jacq: noooooo u must go. u can't abandon me!

after recess...during chi lesson...
jacq: okok dun go then. let's pon and go j8.
sai kueh: hmmmm see how first...im worried abt the project.

after sch...lunch...
jacq: so are we going?
sai kueh: yar. suddenly i feel like going.
2.45...during 3rd lang...jacq n sai kueh are dying...
sai kueh: ahhhhhhhh. i wish we ponned just now.
jacq: yea....quiquik! tink of ideas to get out of class!!!

sooooooo jacq n sai kueh discussed ideas. dey thought of a foolproof plan! dey planned to say dey haf tuition at 4 and go off during break. their tuition was supposed to be on thurs. but cos their A math exam is on thurs...dey had to go for tuition 2dae. jacq is now veri happy.

sai kueh: -softly- dun look so excited. we're going 4 tuition.
conversation became veri loud....
jacq: whyyyy?? tuition is fun wad...
sai kueh: oh yar....can see that CUTE guy again.
jacq: exactly!!!! he's soooooo cute rite???
sai kueh: yea!!!!!
jacq: where is he frm again?
sai kueh: urm...acs i tink!
jacq: yaaaay! he's such a funny guy. can't wait to see him again!
sai kueh: dat nanyang girl is irritating tho. wait might not be nanyang. sum white uniform.
jacq: she likes dat cute guy rite?
sai kueh: YAR....so OBVIOUS.
jacq: eeeeee can't stand her!

jacq n sai kueh spent the rest of the time bullshitting loudly. and when break came...dey told the teacher dey had tuition and went to j8.
the end

2003-05-24T05:05:00.000-07:00

sumbody save my life.

2003-05-23T03:13:00.000-07:00

haha see? pple are actually impressed wif my amazing discovery! like mrs chua. lols. the girl who won the speech competition so did not deserve to win. sounded so exaggerated and damn FAKE. how cld she haf won?? the judges must be blind. and deaf. mine and tiff's skin were crawling when we heard dat she won. i was like...EEEE. okok nvm. karmun was great. just like a lawyer. how cld the judges haf picked trash over her. hmph. everyone around me thought karmun deserved it. dey gave the award to the wrong person. to sumone so fake. bleagh.

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
Watch the stars crash in the sky
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?...tonight

Someday we'll know
if love can move a mountain.
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue.
Someday we'll know
why I wasn't meant for you.

2003-05-22T03:30:00.000-07:00

yay. jacq is here to blog abt her AMAZING DISCOVERY!!! (yes....jo can predict the future =P). but it's a realli KEWL discovery. okay? u noe when u lock ur fone rite...u can press ani number button and it won't appear on the screen? dey'll just show u the press this and this screen. BUT....when u type in "112"....it appears!!!! *GASP*. jacq is such a genius for discovering sumting like this. yay! jacq the genius.

2003-05-21T03:59:00.000-07:00

see that blank space in the entry below? click and drag.

2003-05-21T03:47:00.000-07:00

yay ran my 2.4 2dae. got my gold. sighs this is weird. when i go to sch...i can't wait to get home and sleep and watch tv and stuff. but when i get home...i wish i were in sch again. wif the kuehs. instead of sitting at home. like now. yups. jacq is never satisfied. hate the thought of hafing to study for exams. wish i could not study at all and still be able to live wif myself after i failed everything. but i can't. BAH.

*HINT* my bdae is in 2 weeks!!!!! tink i noe wat im gonna do already. it's gonna be so fun.

i drew you a silly picture during bio 2dae. tink i'll give it to you the next time i see you. hope you'll like it. please please please like it. cos it wld mean alot to me if you did. it realli wld. sumhow i get the feeling dat you will like it. but wat if im wrong? wat if you hate it? dat wld make me so sad. please like it. okay? please? -prays.
cos jacq is sad wifout you.

2003-05-21T02:43:00.000-07:00

sighs jacq is the shortest, heaviest, FATTEST, ugliest, stupidest girl in the world. ahhhhhhhh!!! -sobs.

2003-05-21T02:39:00.000-07:00

You're an RGS babe! Considered too blunt and quick-
witted to be a demure lady, there are still
existing species who like the new Miss
Independent! Kudos!

Which school in Singapore suits you most?
brought to you by Quizilla

Singapore Chinese Girls' school

which secondary school (singapore) should you be in?
brought to you by Quizilla

oh nooooo. damn. ~~bimbotic~~ sch.

2003-05-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

-screams. our dance is so screwed. forget it. i give up. i just can't be bothered animore. wonder why i even cared in the first place. wads the use. half a year of hard work and coming for dance just so it can be screwed up by 2 pple who dun give a damn abt the rest of us. and if the instructor can't be bothered animore...why shld i.
will sign gbks 2mr. not in the mood. too tired.

2003-05-19T04:30:00.000-07:00

Oh yea...one more thing. i SO do NOT haf the act cute but not very cute attitude!!! -sticks tongue out. lols :)

2003-05-19T04:26:00.000-07:00

Somebody save me,
Let your warm hands break right through,
Somebody save me,
I don’t care how you do it,
Just stay (~~stay with me~~)
I made this whole world shine for you...
Just stay, stay
C'mon, I’m still waiting for you

2003-05-19T04:22:00.000-07:00

dat question during recess realli got me thinking. wat do i live for. every day..i wake up to the thought "something realli GREAT is gonna happen TODAY". that's wat keeps me going. gets me out of bed every morning. that's wat i live for. the hope that something gd will happen and make me realli happy. happier than i've ever been in my whole life. and i just realised how silly that is. i can hope and hope and hope for something good to happen till the day i die. i'd just be sitting around waiting for that "something GREAT" to happen. and it may never come. i wld haf lived my whole life for nothing. i need to find sumting else to live for. soon.

2003-05-17T05:01:00.000-07:00

i seem to haf lost orientation and purpose. don't know wat to do. just wandering abt the house aimlessly. hmmm. shld i spend the whole night studying or slacking or both? tink i'll slack. im such a lazy ass. -makes face.

2003-05-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

don't wanna be just like you

had chi oral exam 2dae. it sucked. completely screwed it up. and i had to wait so long for my turn summore. at first it was me, angie, wenhan, xiaowei, michie, nana, and the 2 cheryls sitting in a circle talking. toked for abt more than an hour i tink. abt ghosts and stuff like that! lols. den pple started leaving when their turn came until it was onli me and michie left in the whole classroom wif evon too. went in for the exam. the examiner was so nice. but no examiner, no matter how nice, can give me marks wif my answers to her questions. sighs. after dat me and wenhan rushed to plaza sing to watch xmen again. den we ate lunch at seoul garden. just got home. so full now :).

was just thinking. i haf absolutely no respect for pple who delete guestbook entries that dun put them in gd light. i tink it's a damn cowardly thing to do. i bet that a person who deletes insulting entries will keep entries that say gd stuff abt them? deleting insulting entries is like running away frm the insults. cowards. these pple obviously care too much abt wat other pple who see the entries will think abt them. or maybe dey noe wat the entries say are true...and dey are trying very hard to keep the truth frm other pple? den that makes them hypocritical doesn't it? trying to pretend dat that bad thing isn't part of ur character. i dun get why these pple bother to delete the entries. i mean...who cares wat other pple think? if the person who's reading the insulting entry noes you...he/she wld already noe if dat insult is true..and wld haf an opinion of his/her own. it's dey're opinion...and if dey agree wif the entry...u shld respect that. and if the person doesn't noe u...den who cares? dey are the idiots for judging pple b4 dey even noe them. yups so i lose respect 4 pple who delete insulting entries. cowards who can't accept criticism. or haf sumting to hide that dey tink is embarassing if others find out. mmmm that guy/girl who said im fucked up? the entry is still dere btw. who cares? if dat person noes me and wans to criticise me wifout me finding out who he/she is...den fine. everyone has a right to their opinion and i respect that. i onli hope dat that person actually noes me. and isn't just judging me frm wat i write in here. if he/she doesn't noe me...den i haf to say dat that person is damn sad. another kind of person i haf no respect for. judging pple b4 dey noe wat dey're realli like is a realli stupid thing to do. and i dun realli care wat pple i haf no respect for think. so either way the entry didn't bother me at all. maybe i am realli fucked up. i dun haf aniting to hide. im not ashamed of it. so why shld i delete it? okie just a thought. sorry if i offended anione who does delete insulting entries. but dats how i feel. will stop crapping now.

2003-05-15T07:25:00.000-07:00

sumhow i keep thinking dat 2dae is sunday. hmmm.

2003-05-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

starry starry night. paint your palette blue and grey

argh i feel super super fat. i need to lose weight badly. must stick more closely to my diet. will not eat recess. and will stay far far away frm junk food. must eat less. my dad is so mean. he was sorta hinting to me just now dat im too fat. like...thanx lorx. i'll show him just how thin i can get. just wait and see. i'll show him.

2003-05-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

1. Name: jacqueline
2. birthday: 6/6/88
3. sign: gemini
4. age: 14yrs11mths
5. sex: female
6. location: singapore.
7. school: st nix
8. glasses/contacts: specs. but i dun realli wear them.
9. braces: nope. might be getting soon.
10:fat/thin: FAT!!!! -sobs-. i need to lose weight.
11. tall/short: errrr...not tall.
12. do you like ketchup: yups
13. do you like mustard: nope.
14. do you like mayonnaise: when mixed wif chilli
15. do you like pickles: ewww
16. do you like boys or girls: both.
17. do you like pickle relish (yuck): NO.
18. do you like chicken: yups
19. do you like spinach: urm quite okay i guess.
20. do you have any sibling: a brother.
21. what are their names: jeremy.
22. how old are they: 19. urm i think.
23. do you have any pets: aniting i keep dies
24. what are their names: .....
25. what kind of pets are they: shut up abt pets already?
26. do you like school: sumtimes.
27. if you could choose anyone to rule the world who would you choose: anione but me.
28. do you like pokemon: ewww.
29. do you talk to voices in your head: dun tink so. but i tok to myself. teehee.
30. do they tell you to do stuff: who? urm...sumtimes i tell myself to do stuff.
31. do you listen: yea i listen to myself.
32. how often do you talk on the phone: pretty often.
33. who do you talk to? frends. who else wld i tok to?
34. how often do you surf the web: when i feel like it. almost everyday?
35. how often do you hang out with friends: quite often.
36. do you have a bf/gf: nope. don't want one. im happily single.
37. do you love them: ....
38. have you ever loved anyone: maybe.
39. have you ever made-out with someone: nope.
40. are you loopy: wth is loopy.
41. have you ever broke any bones: nope.
42. if so, which ones: ...
43. how often do you shower: once or twice a day
44. which group do you hang out with at school: urm my friends? haha the kuehs i guess.
45. do you get good grades: do u tink 5/25 is gd?
46. do you always get in trouble: quite alot.
47. do you get along with your parents: sumtimes.
48. are you gonna go to college: hope so.
49. who is your best girl friend: huilin? and the kuehs (angie, wenhan, tiff, jo).
50. who is your best boy friend: no particular one i guess.
51. who do you talk to the most on the phone: urm i dunno...huilin? but haven't toked in a long time. hmm maybe angie.
52. who do you talk to the most on the net: dunno. i tok to whoever i feel like toking to.
53. do you like email or snail mail better: snailmail!
54. do you like gold or silver jewelry: i love silver.
55. have you ever prank called a 1-800 number: nope. sounds fun tho.
56. have you ever tried to impress your crush and ended up embarrassing yourself: embarassed myself? many times. but not to impress anione.
57. what are you most afraid of: spiders. heights. myself.
58. are you weird: yea...muahaha
59. how long does it take you to get ready for school: half hour?
60. do you have a crush: maybe. dunno if u can call it that.
61. what are their names: ....
62. do they like you: .....
63. do you like coffee: coffee bean! starbucks! blackcanyon coffee!
64. if not, how come: ...
65. what is the longest you have went out with someone: the whole day i guess.
66. do you regret it: i never regret going out.
67. how do you know the person who sent this to you: no one sent it.

Where?

68. do you want to live? maybe the US...or australia...or japan...or HK. aniwhere but here.
69. is the most fun place to go? town!
70. do you want to meet your husband/wife? errrr...of course?
71. do you want to go heaven or hell? heaven duh
72. do you want to get married? i guess so

What...

73. Do you like to do? go out. dance. chat. im fine wif almost aniting.
74. was the most fun retreat/trip you ever went on? disney world :)
75. friend is always there? a true friend.
76. relative sends you the most money for Christmas? no one -sobs.
77. do you like about your church or school click? can always make me smile and laugh no matter wat.
78. do you want to be when you grow up? i dunno.
79. do you want your husbands name to be? who cares?
80. is your favorite sport? i dunno. im not a sports person. i like hockey tho.
81. is your favorite piece of clothing? all my clothes are nice :)

have you, in the last 24 hrs...

82. Cried? nope.
83. gotten in major trouble? nope.
84. cut your hair? nope.
85. ate a meal? of course.
86. hugged someone? mmmm maybe. can't remember.
87. kissed someone? nope.
88. made a new friend? nope.
89. lost something? maybe. don't know yet. i'll get back 2 u?

have you ever...

90. Been so drunk you passed out? nope.
91. gone out in public in your pajamas? no.
92. had an imaginary friend? haha maybe.
93. cried during a chick flick? dun tink so.
94. owned a new kids on the block cd? no.
95. gotten in a car accident? nope.
96. liked someone so much you cried? yea.
97. cussed when your parents were around? yea. and got scolded for it.
98. told your sister/brother he/she was a ? can't remember. too long ago.
99. sung in front of the mirror? yups. -hides.
100. made faces in the mirror? yea -stays in hiding.
101. spent more than one hour on your hair? quite possible.
102. sleep- walked talked in your sleep? tink i talk.
103. watched a scary movie and couldn’t sleep all night? happens every time.
104. gone caroling? nope.

movies…

105. what is the funniest movie you ever saw? not sure. maybe rat race.
106. what is the stupidest movie? mystery men (it is SO not funny.)
107. which movie could you watch over and over? a walk to remember.
108. what was the last movie you saw? xmen2
109. who do you go to the movies with? errr my frends?
110. what movie made you cry the most? walk to remember. and maybe moulin rogue.
111. did you like titanic? draggy. but the violin part was sad.

if you were stranded on an island…

112. who would you take? the kuehs!! and huilin!! and wei+andrew+jon.
113. who would you take if you only had two people you could bring? huilin and ani of the kuehs.
114. what three things would you bring? phone. stuffed toy. sunblock.
115. what island would you want to be stranded on? sunny island wif a nice clean beach wif blue seawater.
116. what animal would you kill for food? errrr i dunno?
117. would you write on the sand “help!”? depends whether im hafing a gd time.
118. would you panic or relax? relax haha. go suntanning!

would you ever...

119. Jump out of a plane? no way.
120. kiss your best guy friend (or if you’re a guy girl friend)? depends wat i get out of it. maybe for 2million bucks.
121. go bungee jumping? never!
122. stay in your room for a whole day? maybe..
123. go in the snow without clothes? no way.
124. go swimming in winter? maybe.
125. drink salt water? yea. but onli if i get sumting for it. i wldn't do it for fun.
126. touch road kill? huhs?
127. take a job even if it meant you’d be away from your guy (or girl)? depends.
128. smile at your worst enemy? -evil smile- muahahahha
129. play 8,000 bowling games in one night? errr no
130. go to Reno to get married? wads reno?
131. gamble? of course!
132. have a make-out party? nope.
133. throw a party without your parents? urm duh?
134. go to a foreign country? of course
135. fly a plane? nope.

who.....

136. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? my family. i dun own many things tho.
137. if you had to go live in Borneo for the rest of your life and you could take one person who would it be? ......
138. If you won 18 million dollars, who would you share it with? one quarter to charity. one quarter to my frens. and half for me.
139. who is the one person that you could stand spending a straight 24 hours with and not get the slightest bit annoyed with? huilin and the kuehs.
140. if you woke up one morning and noticed that your leg was missing who would be the first person you would call? after i faint? urm...an ambulance i guess
141. let's say your dad came in your room one day and told you that you had to get married in the next week but you can pick the person but you have to stay with them for the rest of your life no getting out of it, who would you pick? brad pitt?? lols. nahz jk.
142. what if you woke up tomorrow and you were someone else completely, who would you be? an angel. but den again...i already am one :). oh wait i wanna be a mutant!

what......

143. What would be the first thing you would do if you woke up one morning and you were the opposite sex? scream.
144. if all of a sudden you had the ability to do one thing better than everyone else, have one amazing talent, what would it be? read minds.
145. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change(personality and looks)? looks. yups.
146. what is your dream career? i dunno. slacking.
147. what is the one thing you just have to do before you die? take an immortality pill.
148. if you could be a member of any band that has ever exsisted, what band would that be? jacqueline's band.
149. what is the thing you care about most in your life? friends and family.

which one......

150. Winter or summer? both are pretty gd.
151. The beach or the mountains? beach!!! i need a tan!
152. pop or punk? both are fine wif me.
153. rock or rap? i like both.
154. new york or l.A.? urm i dunno? i wanna see both.
155. milk chocolate or dark chocolate? milk! i hate dark choc
156. dogs or cats? dogs
157. britney or christina? christina.
158. leno or letterman? ......
159. mtv or vh1? mtv
160. country or classical? country
161. day or night? depends wat i wanna do. day! so i can see my darling kuehs.
162. lake or ocean? lake.
163. Waffles or pancakes? waffles. but i like both.
164. soccer or football? neither. aren't dey the same thing?
165. baseball or swimming? swimming!
166. chocolate or vanilla? vanilla. but i love chocolate too :)
167. sugar or spice? sugar!
168. grisham or canyon vista? huhs.
169. eminem-please stand up or please shut up? stand up. but occassionally shut up.

random....

170. If you could be in any movie as the lead role what movie would it be? xmen3! or harry potter!
171. if you could design your perfect mate what would he/she look like and be like? not sure. who cares? no one's perfect.
172. if you won the lottery what would you do with your, let's say, 18 million dollars? like i said just now. one quarter to charity. one quarter to frens and family. and half to me.
173. what is the single most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? the time i fell flat on my face at the mrt station in front of a bus-stop full of guys and dey all laughed.

have you ever.....

174. Fallen in front of someone you thought to be quite good looking? nope.
175. run into a wall? all the time. lamp posts too.
176. sleep walked? nope.
177. gone swimming in winter? nope.
178. kissed someone of the same sex? hmmm can't remember. dun tink so.
179. snuck out of the house at night? nope.
180. gotten in a car wreck where you are the driver? .....i dun drive.
181. laughed so hard that what you were drinking spewed out your nose? tink so.
182. started laughing really hard so you just spit out what you had in your mouth cause you couldn't swallow? dun tink so. i forced myself to swallow.
183. swallow a bug? not sure.
184. have you ever actually kept a new year's resolution? i dun make them. so deres nothing to keep to.
185. if so what was it? .....
186. say a few things about the person who sent this too you. no one sent it!

~*~*would you ever*~*~

187. eat bugs purposely? no. but for a price....
188. commit a crime? jaywalked?
189. change your religion? maybe. but probably not.
190. lie to your parents? of course. all the time.
191. jump over a waterfall? no way. im scared of heights remember?
192. Dress up as a pokemon and walk around your school? over my dead body.
193. dress up as the opposite sex for an important event? haha yea i guess
194. go out at night dressed in something like a black trench coat and sunglasses? maybe.
195. sing a harmonized duet in front of 500 strangers? urm...depends.
196. tell someone that you liked them if they were much older than you? how much is much?

~*~*have you ever*~*~

197. lied to your parents about something really important? yea.
198. have your life threatened? i tink i almost drowned once.
199. stumbled across fbi secrets online? urm no.
200. stayed up until the morning light talking online? nope. i need my beauty sleep.
201. made people give you really weird glances? yea! hahaha
202. if yes, how? can't remember. i do and did alot of weird stuff. like keep grinning to myself.
203. read a Shakespeare play? haha 12th night. if music be the food of love...
204. talked in your sleep? all the time.
205. what did you say? alot of stuff. once...my cousin said i was counting.
206. sung at a karaoke bar? nope. sounds like fun tho.

love/like

207. who do you have a crush on: why wld i tell u.
208. have you ever gone out with them: yea.
209. have you ever kissed them: nope.
210. do you wanna kiss them: no.

2003-05-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

ahhhh my aunt lied to me!!! she said dat if i tried bending the moulin rogue dvd(she brought dem back frm china) dat weren't working...dey'd work. i tried. obviously it didn't work. the screen is still blank. -sobs. jacq is dying of boredom.

2003-05-15T00:36:00.000-07:00

oh wth. my STUPID brother brought my playstation2 to his frend's house and LEFT IT THERE. NOW wat does he expect me to do? sit around and ROT? of all the times he has to bring it sumwhere and leave it there...why does it haf to be the time i feel like playing?? not like it matters to HIM since he's OUT sumwhere hafing a GREAT TIME. LUCKY HIM. im damn bloody BORED rite now and it's ALL HIS FAULT. for a public holiday....2dae realli sux. everyone will probably tink im such a spoilt brat after reading this. but i realli dun care. this is all my stupid brother's fault!

2003-05-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

It's a new day, but it all feels old
It's a good life, that's what I'm told
But everything, it all just feels the same.

And my high school, it felt more to me
Like a jail cell, a penitentiary
My time spent there only made me see

That I don't ever wanna be like you
I don't wanna do the things you do
I'm never gonna hear the words you say
'Cause I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be
You...don't wanna be just like you
What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem
throw all your hands up, you, don't wanna be you

"Go to college, a university, get a real job,"
That's what they said to me
But I could never live the way they want
I'm gonna get by and just do my time, out of step while they all get in line
I'm just a minor threat so pay no mind

Do you really wanna be like them, do you really wanna be another trend?
Do you wanna be part of their crowd?
'Cause I don't ever wanna, no I don't ever wanna be

You...don't wanna be just like you
What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem
throw all your hands up, you, don't wanna be you

Shake it once, that's fine
Shake it twice, that's okay
Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself again

You...don't wanna be just like you
What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem
throw all your hands up,
Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me,
you, don't wanna be just like you (just like you)
This is the anthem throw all your hands up,
y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)

2003-05-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

ahhhhh!! yaaaaay!! my dad just gave me 4 complimentary tickets for golden village!! valid till 31st may. anione wanna watch movie this or nxt week?

2003-05-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

And you can easily gamble your life away
Second after second
And day by day
You play the game or you walk away

haha good charlotte's "the anthem" has been ringing in my head since this morning. angie's fault. started it off by singing it in class this morning. i love my new template haha. shall go sleep now.

2003-05-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

counting the days that pass me by.

2dae realli sucked. hahah. 2 tests. tink im gonna fail both. wasted time at maths remedial. den became realli moody. severe mood swing haha. got back chem and geog yesterday. finally passed chem. i got 5/25 for geog. congrats jacq. u're such a genius. bah. but sumhow results dun realli affect me. felt like laughing when i got the paper back. not laughing and crying. just laughing. until tan shu wei suddenly screamed "it's NOT funny!!". this is bad. i want results to affect me. i feel so...unmotivated to do well. i need to wake up. but i can't.

2003-05-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

When I saw the break of day.
I wished that I could fly away.
Instead of kneeling in the sand,
Catching teardrops in my hand.

2003-05-12T03:45:00.000-07:00

And I just realized that nothing is what it seems

sighs you are daoing me again.
and i realli hate it.
cos it makes me realli sad.
and i dun wanna feel sad.
not over this.
i don't know wat i was expecting.
maybe a reply of some sort.
but u just couldn't afford to take
the time to reply me rite?
u couldn't spare a min or 2 of ur time.
u're just too BUSY to bother abt me.
too busy to bother abt a close frend.
sumtimes i realli wonder
wat goes on in dat mind of urs.
sumtimes im realli hate myself.
wish this was all over.

Now that I know what Im without
You cant just leave me

2003-05-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

had loads and loads of fun yesterday! dance ended early cos zhuang didn't come. so me n angie took a cab down to cine. we watched xmen2! finally!!! ahhhhhh!!! i LOVE the show!!! bobby is soooooo CUTE and SWEET!!! rogue is sooo PRETTY!!! and i love nightcrawler!!!! tink he's quite adorable too!! hahaha. yups we watched xmen2, took neoprint, shopped for presents. so fun!! i love bueng kueh to bits!!! first time going out in so long. felt realli great haha. after dat went to my grandma's hse for dinner. fell asleep dere haha. was so tired.

this morning went to church...had tuition. same old thing. den i went out for lunch wif my family and my godsister. my godsister came back to our house for a while. spent alot of time just laughing and laughing and LAUGHING. lols. after dat went to my grandfather's house for dinner. family gathering. dey're gonna sell the house so it's probably the last time i'll ever see it. found alot of weird stuff dat my grandfather kept in his safe. like kettle parts? and paint? hahaha. his 'wife' is gonna move out of the house and stay wif her own family. sighs she must haf been so lonely after he died. aniwaez it's already 10 and i haf work to do. shall be a gd girl and go do my work :)

2003-05-09T04:25:00.000-07:00

yay. finally got my new leotard, tights and shoes. sho happy haha. went down to sonata after sch to take it. sheesh orchard plaza is such a sleezy place. lots of scantly clad women hanging around. haha. aniwaez..no matter wat happens..im gonna keep on going. can't wait for 2mr to come. it's gonna be super super fun!!! :)

kuehs: if you didn't manage to catch the password...or if you can't remember it....msg me or sumting and i'll tell you kays. yupps. i love u pple loads and loads and loads.

2003-05-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

dun feel like going 2 sch 2mr. PLEASE god...let me fall sick in the next 8 hrs or so. or at least LOOK sick :(

2003-05-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

haha i just realised how i relieve my own depression. just tink of an event that makes me happy and look forward to it. like saturday teehee. i'll just live my life for that event. and when that event is over...i tink of a new one to look forward to. there's nothing i hate more than waking up in the morning and tinking dat deres nothing to look forward to and wth am i doing here. hope and anticipation keep me alive. everyday i wake up tinking that one of these days u might miss me too. and dats sumting else that keeps me alive. haha tink im toking rubbish here. oh wells. gonna go shower now. deres quite alot of work to do.

im a delicious kueh! eat me! eat me! -laughs-

2003-05-07T03:50:00.000-07:00

It may sound absurd...but don't be naive.
Even Heroes have the right to bleed.
I may be disturbed...but won't you concede?
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me.

i miss you :(. and u dun even haf a clue. but dun worry. i'll get over it. -forces smile onto face-.

2003-05-07T03:41:00.000-07:00

just got back frm jap exam. it sucked. halfway through listening i was just like...forget it...wadeva. didn't noe wat the hell dey were toking abt. angela saw the cute chinese high guy. and she tinks he looks like a MONKEY??? hmph! he so does NOT look like one lorx. haha but if he was here 2dae den he muz be sec3. yay. oh wells. not like it matters aniwaez. he's JUST me and wenhan's eyecandy. hehs. sighs i haf to work on my persuasive speech 2nite. haven't even started yet. will haf to find SUM way to make a speech abt a global issue wifout making myself look like an idiot. which i guess is near impossible. argh i hate speechs. haha can't wait for saturdae to come! my first time out LEGALLY in MONTHS! my evil parents' fault. -sobs-. dere are so many things to do. haha we're gonna haf soooo much fun!
i love the kuehs. always make me laugh no matter wat :)

If there's so much I must be,
Can I still just be me?
The way I am.
Can I trust in my own heart?
Or am I just one part
Of some big plan?

2003-05-05T03:48:00.000-07:00

i've caught myself smiling alone
just thinking of your voice.
and dreaming of your touch is all too much
you know i don't have any choice.

2003-05-05T03:47:00.000-07:00

2dae was a realli bad day. was in a super bad mood the whole day. yea...i noe...AGAIN. dunno wat's come over me these past few days. hmmmm. aniwaez...damn tired now. just got back frm piano lesson. will probably be spending the whole nite studying for the chem test 2mr and the jap exam on wed. hope i can get away to watch friends 4 awhile tho. yups haha will go off to shower and study now. thoughts of you are all that get me by :(.

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me & you

2003-05-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

You said it's over, I said "that's ok,
I wasn't in to you anyway"
I told you "lately, you irritate me, your laugh is too loud
You're the last boy I'd look at, if you were in a crowd"

Could you tell
I was lying and hiding the truth away?
And what I really wanted to say...

Is "you are incredible
You are amazing
You blow my mind, one of a kind
I'm having a meltdown"
You are incredible
You are amazing
But sometimes telling the truth is easier said than done
"Don't leave baby" - now that's what I meant to say

"My world's not ending, I'll be just fine"
That's what my mouth said
But not what I felt inside
I told you, "baby
You're not the answer to all of my prayers,
Cos I like my girlfriends in short skirts with longer hair"

Could you tell
I was lying and hiding the truth away?
And what I really wanted to say...

Chorus

Well I said I didn't care about what you felt about me
Couldn't care less about what I've said or done
I didn't mean it - it's not what I meant to say
You know the turth is that I care about
What you think about me
Maybe too much (I've been puttin' on a front)
I didn't mean it - and what I meant to say...

Is "you are incredible
You are amazing
You blow my mind, one of a kind
I'm having a meltdown"
You are incredible
You are amazing
But sometimes telling the truth is easier said than done
Telling the truth is easier said than done
Can't you see?
Telling the truth is easier said than done,
"Don't leave baby" - now that's what I meant to say

2003-05-03T05:32:00.000-07:00

just got home. had a pretty fun day 2dae. went for dance in the morning...den went bowling wif my brother n his 2 frens at the club in the afternoon. 68 points. hohoho. yes i noe my bowling totally sucks. and that dat is a damn pathetic score. but 0 to 68 is quite a big improvement kays. at least not EVERYTHING is going into the gutter and i didn't make a COMPLETE idiot out of myself. yupps. jacq is quite happy now. sighs realised deres a very thin line between close frens and more than frens. and i dunno which side im on. wish i knew. but i dun wanna jump to conclusions and stuff. so i guess i'll just haf to wait and see.

should i keep on waiting, or does love keep on fading away?

oh yea and i've just realised sumting.
you only get wat you give.
so keep that in mind pple whenever you expect anything frm others. cos it's realli important. yups dats all i haf to say. tink i'll need to go off and mug for chem and jap soon. byez!~*

But when the night is falling
and you cannot find the light,
If you feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight

You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget we only get what we give

2003-05-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person staring back at me

I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when dont know yourself
So irritating
Don't want to be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

2003-05-02T06:25:00.000-07:00

hmmm i know i was realli mean in my locked entry.
starting to feel a little guilty. but im not gonna erase it.
cos i meant watever i said. even the last part.
urm.....i think?

2003-05-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

All night
Hearing voices telling
Me that I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something.
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown and I don't know why

2003-05-01T03:22:00.000-07:00

went to sentosa this morning wif tiff and her church pple. it was this treasure hunt thingy where dey make u do stupid stuff at every station to get points. stuff like drinking 1.5 litres of water. and stepping into a muddy pool in the dragon trail. and eating dog biscuits. and singing a song for 2min while holding sum silly pose. hehex it was pretty fun tho. enjoyed myself. yupps. bleagh but i hate water. 1.5 litres(one very big bottle) is no joke kays. even b4 finishing half i felt like puking. oh yea and i finished reading the bondmaid after i got home. the ending's sho sad :(. ahhhhh i haf a t-shirt line frm being in the sun. it's so damn ugly. why didn't i just wear sleeveless. hmph. now can see the difference in the colour of skin. looks so disgusting. sighs deres sch again 2mr. realli dun feel like going. feel sick to my stomach just thinking abt it. everything seems so screwed up rite now. tink im sinking into depression...and i can't help it. don't wanna go back dere. i just wanna fly far far away and stay dere. maybe i'll go live on a cloud for awhile. im damn sick of all the shit dats been happening lately. both in and out of sch. haha yupps

but i wanna thank wen han, angela, tiff, jo, and xiaowei for being such angels and never failing to put a smile on my face even when my mood is lyk super super bad. i love you pple loads and loads and loads :)

2003-05-01T02:30:00.000-07:00

You are "Nobody's fool". Exactly like the
name says, you are nobody's fool. You don't
live by anyone else's rules. You are the
epitome of an individual. You love to put your
personal touches on gifts. And want people to
remember you for the person you are, not the
image. People admire your courage and strength
that you posess to have your own style and
rebel against others bigger and more popular
than you. You will never be forgotten.

What Avril Lavigne song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

haha im watching crime watch now. it's so damn cornee. =P

2003-04-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see.
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me

2003-04-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

just finished helping rae wif her new template. guess i haf nothing much to blog abt. was in a realli bad mood the whole day. sighs sumtimes it's realli sad to just sit back and watch as the days pass me by... :(

"You will never find true happiness.
What you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up,
do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep."

so true huh? and to tink this was supposed to be a funny song. it's amazing how much sense it makes. lols.

2003-04-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

HA! angela owes me a triple scoop ice cream!!!! hahahhaa it was double scoop for being able to find a cute guy at the 3rd lang centre. and triple scoop for being able to find a cute chinese high guy at the 3rd lang centre. ahhhhhhh! i've witnessed a miracle! on my way out frm class. he was damn cute. even wen han tinks so. i've won the bet!!!! -jumps up and down-. but angela says it's not counted until she sees him for herself. sobs. so unfair. nvm...i'll find a way. bleagh too bad i tink he's s1.

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

2003-04-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally like lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you, has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free

2003-04-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

didn't realli do aniting in sch. after sch stayed back 4 awhile toking to tiff and jo. den went home. recorded my md. had dinner. toked to angela on the fone for abt 2hrs. decided not to go for stupid dance 2mr. waste my time haha. now im watching survivor. bleagh im getting damn irritated. but dun wanna tok abt it.

jacq rules. jacq rules. jacq rules. jacq rules. jacq rules. jacq rules. jacq loves tiff. so tiff rules too!

jo: if u happen to read this...dat despo guy replied! and he hasn't given up. even after u told him dat im les. his reply was urm...shocking. hahaha will show u the msg in sch on mon. u were right abt the ego thing. he's realli the biggest despo ive ever come across kays. i haf decided not to reply. waste my sms haha.

2003-04-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

wow sumone tinks im fcuked up. how nice. wonder who it is. =)

2003-04-23T04:37:00.000-07:00

wow. haven't blogged in 2 or 3 days? and im going off soon. been online for onli abt 20min. haha looks like im realli keeping to my not going online thing. just dun realli see the point in it. going online has lost most of its meaning for me. left sch at arnd 10 in the morning 2dae cos i wasn't feeling well. took a 2 and a half hr nap. finished studying my chi. aniwaez im just blogging to let all of u noe dat jacq is still alive. but barely. yups. tc everyone! =)

2003-04-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

haha just found sumting perfect to describe our situation wif dat woman.

she had it coming.
she had it coming.
she only had herself to blame.
if you'd have been there,
if you'd have seen it,
i betcha you would have done the same.

okok too much chicago. but the song has been stuck in my head since i watched it this afternoon. and i can't help but tink it's quite appropriate. lols

2003-04-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

I know you
I walked with you once upon a dream.
I know you
The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
Yes, I know it's true
that visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
the way you did once upon a dream

2003-04-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

i had the most wonderful dream last nite! realli realli hope it continues 2nite. tho it's highly unlikely. teehee. it was the best dream i ever had in mths! it made me soooo happy! but the problem was...when i woke up in the morning and realised it was all a dream and wasn't real..i was realli disappointed and sad. had a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach...and immediately knew dat 2dae was gonna suck(but it didn't in the end). was in quite a bad mood in a while. guess the disappointment just got to me sumhow. isn't that silly? it was just a dream. hmmmm but if it realli was a dream...how come i still feel and remember the warm fuzzy feeling i felt in the dream so strongly?? why did the dream seem so real? for the whole of 2dae...i couldn't get dat warm fuzzy feeling out of my head. i wish i could just continue living in that dream world forever and ever. i dun mind never waking up if i could have that magical feeling all the time...and never haf to wake up to cold hard reality.

and i wonder...
are you thinking of me?
cos im thinking of you.

2003-04-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

haha was in orchard after sch 2dae wif tiffy, mary, louie, and karina. ate lunch at marche. den we took neoprint at the annex. was sho funny. the neoprint machine was telling us this supposedly scary story which wasn't scary at all...den suddenly this face popped out on the screen and i SCREAMED. got such a shock kays. lols. after dat we just walked around. went home. mum was quite pissed cos i wasn't picking up my phone. oh wells. realli hope i can watch movie on thurs after sch. my mum isn't very happy. haha sch has been quite fun these 2 days. lalala~*

2003-04-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

sch was boring. hmmm oh wait on 2nd thought...it was realli fun. was great to see everyone again. sighs i am so damn freaking hell PISSED. syf has been postponed to term 3!!!! wtf. i was looking forward to everything being over in 2weeks. but wat happens now??? it won't even be over in 2 mths!!! we've danced the same dance over and over and over again for 6 mths already. until we're all totally sick of it and can't wait to get rid of it. but noooooooo. we're gonna haf to continue dancing the same thing for the next 3 mths!! my june hols are completely RUINED. wtf wtf WTF. i can totally forget abt going on holiday already. we're probably gonna haf to come back to sch for dance almost every single day. and if i go on holiday...dat stupid huang will take me out. argh im so frustrated dat i few like ripping all my hair out. dats not all. the sch is considering cancelling sports day. wth is their problem??? first we drilled so hard for interhouse cheer...practised all the steps...den dey decide to get rid of interhouse. after dat we came back so many times and for so long during the march hols for the combined routine...going down during recess...the stress frm trying to catch up...and now dey're considering cancelling sports day??? this was a mistake frm the start. i shld haf just quit when dey got rid of interhouse instead of wasting my time coming back during the hols for cheer prac. why did i even bother?? it's all WASTED aniway. all the effort for absolutely NOTHING. ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH. and i just got my jap midyear exam schedule this afternoon. it's on the 7th of may. dats onli slightly more than 2 weeks away. wonderful. how NICE. and i dunno how to tell my mum dat i wanna go out on thurs to watch johnny english wif louie and the rest. tink deres a 99.9% chance dat she'll say NO. yaaaaaaaaay.
everything's just so fucked up rite now. sumtimes i realli hate my life.

2003-04-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

hahaha went to church this morning. first time in more than a mth kays. hehex. im sure everyone is super proud of me =P. after dat i went down to ikea(yes i noe. AGAIN.). yaaaaaaay i tink it's almost confirmed dat my parents are buying me the loft bed. we were dere looking at sofas to put under my bed. hahaha my mum wans a sofa bed cos she says it's realli practical if frens stay over. but most of the sofa beds there are realli hard and uncomfortable. except for one dats not too bad. tink we'll most likely be taking dat one. den we were looking at wall colours too cos i wanna repaint my room. rite now it's dark blue. i wanna paint it peach!! hahah big change rite =P. and i wanna change my floor too. my flooring is so horrible. but my parents might not wanna change it. sighs.

managed to find an uncle dat spends loads of time watching cnn and bbc. going over to his house to tok to him later so dat i can get my eng task 2 done. sumone to do my work for me. hahaha how convenient. so happy. yaaaaaaay! =)

Homework:
- geog enrichment: understanding sars(1 page)
- ss structured essay (wkbook 3A pg 41)
- ss wkbook pg 43(do graphic organiser)
- read ss wkbook pg 46-48
- ss wkbook pg 49, 50, 51, 53 (do all questions)
- aspects of persuasive speech
- graphic organiser for speech
- write persuasive speech
- eng task 1 (daily journal on war in iraq)
- eng task 2 (compare & contrast broadcasting mthds)
- read bio chap 5 and 6
- do bio exercises at the end of chapter on writing paper
- bio(photosynthesis) wksheets (which i dun tink i haf)
- explanation text research

projects undone:
- explanation text
- jap project
- CME project

2003-04-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

haha sighs haven't finished my plan for 2nite. but den i suddenly realised...dat the stuff i haven't done yet aren't realli due on the first day of sch...meaning i still haf some time to finish them. dun realli NEED to finish them all by 2mr. so i guess i've relaxed a little bit. did a whole lot of work 2dae. so proud of myself. hee.

horrible mean parents moving the com out of my room and into my brother's room on tuesday when the new com table comes. can bet u it's my mum's idea. she's always the one dat comes up wif mean ideas like this. sighs sho sad. wun be able to chat or listen to mp3s in my room animore. oh well im not THAT upset i guess. cos dey're actually considering my loft bed. tink i've almost got them completely convinced dat it's a fantastic idea. haha so excited. can't wait =)

nobody said it was easy.
it's such a shame for us to part.
nobody said it was easy.
no one ever said it would be this hard.